Monday, August 15, 2005

Notre Dame Fighting Irish Mascot Stereotypes Irish as Short, Fighting

"Fightin' Irish" will join Florida State Seminoles as ineligible for post-season bowl games

The NCAA added Notre Dame to its list of schools barred from post-season play for violation of new guidelines strictly prohibiting "mascots, nicknames or images deemed hostile or abusive in terms of race, ethnicity or national origin."

Native American leftists applauded the decision by the nation's oldest college athletic association and found unlikely allies at yesterday's meeting in at least two dozen
inebriated, combative Irish-Americans.

Walter Harrison, chairman of the NCAA executive committee, sustained minor injuries when he was knocked off-stage by Irish spokesman, Seamus O'Malley.
Bewildered audience members remained seated and silent as O'Malley's slurred and rambling address was delivered by bullhorn despite a functioning microphone in front of him.

After receiving medical treatment, Harrison re-joined O'Malley at the lectern sporting a bandaged and bloodied nose. With his arm around the intoxicated Irishman, Harrison dismissed the assault as “merely expression of joy deeply rooted in their proud traditions of punching and shoving."

The committee meets next week with representatives of other NCAA teams whose
mascots are deemed ethnically offensive under the new zero tolerance guidelines. The partial list includes the following team names: Vikings, Cavaliers, Pirates, Musketeers, Mountaineers, Cowboys, Buccaneers, Pioneers, Highlanders, Gladiators, Trojans, Spartans, Saints, Saxons, Scots, Deacons, Vulcans, Quakers, Minutemen, Fighting Pipers, Flying Dutchmen, Wizards, Lumberjacks, Crusaders, Missionaries, and Rebels.

This piece is satire - sort of...


Blogger Bohemian Like You said...

This comment placed here for the same purpose that a bartender puts a couple of his own dollars in the tip jar at the beginning of his shift. Comments beget comments.

8/15/2005 10:51:00 PM  
Anonymous Right from the start said...

too funny! the seminole tribe even supports the team! thanks

8/17/2005 09:53:00 PM  

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