Saturday, August 27, 2005

President Bush Meets, Arrests Sheehan

Inspired by The Right Place’s caption contest, WHYGRR is pleased to announce the “Outrage a Liberal” Headline submission contest.


The winning headline will earn the writer an
Apple iPod Shuffle (512 KB).



For a chance to win here’s all you have to do:

** Leave a comment to this post with a satirical headline you think is clever, brief, and patently offensive to Left wing sensibilities.
AND

** Blogroll me (or simply link the "UN Wars Prevented” counter to your site)

That’s it. You can enter as often as you like. Entries containing profanity or obscenities will be deleted at my discretion. That’s right, *censorship.*

Some examples from this blog are as follows:
“President Bush meets, Arrests Sheehan”
“Only Karl Rove Can Call for the Assassination of Hugo Chavez”
“Kennedy Apologizes to Nazi Soldiers Held in Allied Camps without Attorneys”

You get the idea.

The headlines are jokes – the contest is real. I can afford to give away an
iPod Shuffle to a creative writer I've never met. After all, I’m a Republican.

One winner along with runners-up will be announced mid-September. Let the Outrage begin!

110 Comments:

Blogger Bohemian Like You said...

This comment placed here for the same purpose that a bartender puts a couple of his own dollars in the tip jar at the beginning of his shift. Comments beget comments.

8/27/2005 08:56:00 PM  
Blogger Lone Ranger said...

Sorry. I got nothing.

8/28/2005 06:13:00 AM  
Anonymous RC said...

Unique "Nuclear Coal Process" Extracts Oil From Trees

Bush Given Environmetalist Award From Marsh Arabs

Rove Guilty On 4 Counts Of Adorableness

Study: Black Conservatives Still Black

Youth Today Finds 60's Lame, Not Groovy

Liberal Org Not Secretly Communist; Openly Communist

Cows Miserable, Want To Be Dinner

Complete Text Of Sheehan Remarks

Survey: Republicans Want Iraq Success; Dems Don't

8/28/2005 07:01:00 AM  
Blogger Bohemian Like You said...

Good stuff RC - don't forget to leave an email!

8/28/2005 09:07:00 AM  
Blogger Morg said...

Good ones RC, how about these.

Sheehan Converts to Islam, Says Degrading Bush is More Important than Her Rights as a Woman!

California University Clones Bush Embryo then Aborts as Form of Protest.

Sheehan Admits to Sexual Fantasy about Saddam Hussein. Cites Sun Photo as Inspiration.

8/28/2005 10:51:00 AM  
Blogger TR said...

CONSTITUTION AMENDED - BUSH ELECTED TO THIRD TERM

8/28/2005 10:56:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. Right said...

Supreme Court Appoints George W. Bush "President for Life"

Long Rumored Government Re-education Camps Finally Open, Democrats Rounded Up

Worldwide Marijuana Crop Failure Promises Unprecedented Hemp Shortage

Senate Confirms Pat Robertson as Chief Justice

New Poll: 90% Say Cindy Sheehan "Nutty as Squirrel Poop"

France Admits "We Were Wrong"; Chiraq Now Calls Iraq War "The Right Thing to Do"

8/28/2005 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger TR said...

SUPREME COURT RULES: FIRST AMENDMENT DOES NOT APPLY TO DEMOCRATS

8/28/2005 12:26:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Bin Laden Replaces Dean as DNC Chairman

8/28/2005 12:27:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Medical Test Shows Hillary Can't Technically be First "Female" President

8/28/2005 12:28:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

"Karl Rove wins confirmation to Supreme Court"

8/28/2005 08:32:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

Ahh, with the "verification" routine in place, I'll just dump a buncha headlines at once...

"Jean Fraud sKerry admits to sending body double to Vietnam"

"DNA Test Proves Cindy Sheehan Not Human"

"Frank Rich, Michael Moore and Dan Blather Arrested in Bush Assassination Plot" Rich: "The plan was to have Michael sit on him while Dan and I blew hot air at the Secret Service agents..." developing...

"Nancy Peolsi caught in threesome with Teddy Kennedy" (just nancy and ted... )

"Hillary: 'I just love mud people. They go well with barbeque sauce.'"

"Hillary: 'F*** New York!'"

"Al Sharpton: 'I was raped by Bill Clinton'"

"Howard Dean..." (That ought to do it. Anything after those two words ought to be juuuust fine... )

"Republicans in the Senate find their stones"

"Cindy Sheehan reveals multi-million-dollar deal with Soros after 2004 election"

"Iraqis affirm constitution in massive turnout"

8/28/2005 08:40:00 PM  
Blogger Morg said...

Oh it just hit me, the one that would have all the libs hanging themselves.

Bill Clinton Finds Christ, Becomes Republican, Denounces the Immoral Left.

8/28/2005 09:05:00 PM  
Blogger Rockel said...

"Terrorists accept therapy; Terror abated"

8/28/2005 09:17:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Exit Polls Show Republican Candidate Receives 95% of Black Vote

8/28/2005 10:26:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

Democrats protest "Oil from turkey guts" plant: losing too many congresscritters.

(http://www.mindfully.org/Energy/2003/Anything-Into-Oil1may03.htm)

Of course this doesn't work. There aren't enough turkeys in congress of either party with any guts at all...

8/28/2005 11:26:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

Bush Vindicated: Saddam Hussein reveals hidden cache of WMD's.

8/29/2005 12:41:00 AM  
Anonymous insanehippie said...

Liberals: We support a woman's right to abortion on demand!

Islamic Societies: We support a man's right to post-birth abortions on demand for women.

This is why the Left loves Radical Islam. Tyranny loves company.

8/29/2005 12:50:00 AM  
Anonymous insanehippie said...

If abortion is so good, you should try it yourself.

8/29/2005 12:50:00 AM  
Blogger TR said...

Study Reveals Baby Seals a Viable Energy Alternative to Oil

8/29/2005 01:00:00 AM  
Anonymous in said...

Abortion. Useful for libs when you think the baby daddy won't pay the child support.

8/29/2005 01:01:00 AM  
Blogger TR said...

President Bush Issues Executive Order Renaming Hurricane Katrina to Hurricane Hillary Because of its Forecasted Catastrophic Impact on America

8/29/2005 01:02:00 AM  
Anonymous insanehippie said...

Can you please change the author from in to insanehippie. I pressed enter too fast :-)

8/29/2005 01:04:00 AM  
Anonymous insanehippie said...

"Airplane hits UN Building in New York. Top ten floors collapse. No one notices."

8/29/2005 01:17:00 AM  
Anonymous RC said...

I don't have a webpage to link this post to, so I think I'm ineligable to win anyway. So I just kept my email off to avoid spam...

8/29/2005 03:31:00 AM  
Blogger David said...

RC, link to my blog. We'll share any ill-gotten gains...

:-)

8/29/2005 08:29:00 AM  
Blogger TheChurchMilitant said...

"In vitro, no one can hear you scream."

I have been using this headline when I mention the stem cell nazis:

http://thechurchmilitant.blogspot.com/2005/08/in-vitro-no-one-can-hear-you-scream.html

8/29/2005 09:40:00 AM  
Anonymous ray B. said...

"Liberals take back Congress in 2006, Conservatives Sad."

"Ann Coulter's Adam's Apple Exploids -- Full of Worms"

"Liberals Rock like the Clash and Hendrix, Conservatives Lame as Back Street Boys and Pat Boone"

FOX News, CNN, MSNBC report: "God Prefers FDR in Wheelchair over Reagan on Horse"

Future News, 2008: "Iraq Declares its an Islamic State, Bush Admits Iraq War Mistake, Osama bin Laden Still Free"

8/29/2005 10:31:00 AM  
Anonymous DON said...

Moral Authority Diminished: Birth records reveal Cindy not Casey's Real Mother

8/29/2005 12:32:00 PM  
Anonymous Buckley F. Williams said...

Devil With A Stained Dress On: Clinton CD To Hit Stores Soon

NARAL Executives Embroiled In Dead Carnie Scandal

70% Of French Choose Islamofascists As Aggressors Of Choice

ACLU Sues Bush For Discrimination Against 296,675,358 Americans Not Nominated For High Court

8/29/2005 01:42:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

Don suggested: "Moral Authority Diminished: Birth records reveal Cindy not Casey's Real Mother"

Yeh, but DNA test already showed she isn't human, ya know...

:-)

"D'underground Collapses from Weight of Excess B.S.: New Sheep Sought to Replace Democratic Party Faithful"

8/29/2005 02:02:00 PM  
Blogger I. Ronnie said...

"UAE resigns to Democracy"

"World Peace Acheived"

"Private US Charitable Contributions up %300 in wake of Fair Tax Act"

"STUDY: Death by starvation would increase %400 without American charity"

"Iraq builds monument to American Freedom Fighters"

8/29/2005 02:32:00 PM  
Blogger I. Ronnie said...

"Single Active Brain Cell Implanted in Democrat's Left Lobe: Converts to Republican"

8/29/2005 02:37:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

War in Iraq Cures Cancer

8/29/2005 03:12:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

CLONING SUCCESS: DNA FROM RONALD REAGAN USED TO DEVELOP CLONE, WILL RUN AGAINST HILLARY IN 2008

8/29/2005 03:33:00 PM  
Blogger Darrell said...

I'm struggling here, and hopefully I'll come up with something better in the next week or so:

Bush Donates Massachusetts To Gaza Refugees, Says "There Was No Sign Of Intelligent Life There Anyway."

Michael Moore Leaves "Fat Farm," Checks Into "Funny Farm"

NBC Announces New Reality Show: "Grief Factor," Hosted By Cindy Sheehan

8/29/2005 07:10:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

Scientist: "Liberals are dumb."

I think its funny. Not my personal view, if I may wuss out here

8/29/2005 09:37:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

Al Franken Turns States Evidence in Air America Scandal

8/30/2005 12:07:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

Senator Hillary Clinton Arrested, Admits Campaign Fraud

8/30/2005 12:09:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

President Cheney Elected in Landslide

8/30/2005 12:10:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

FOX Beats Big Three in Prime Time Market

8/30/2005 12:10:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

Supreme Court Affirmative Action Ruling - Universities Must Hire Conservatives

8/30/2005 12:11:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

Annan Resigns – Bolton Elevated to Top UN Post

8/30/2005 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

The Legacy Continues – Jeb Elected President

8/30/2005 10:21:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

Al Zarqawi Gives Up “Missing WMD’s” in Plea Bargain

8/30/2005 10:22:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

Chelsea Blockbuster Tell-All, “The Clinton Cover-ups”

8/30/2005 10:22:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

"Bin Laden Found in Michael Moore’s Guesthouse"

Related stories…

"Bin Laden Smuggled From Afghanistan by Sean Penn"

"Hollywood Underground Hid Top Terrorist"

8/30/2005 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

"Los Angeles, San Diego Counties Ceded to Mexico in Reparations Settlement"

related stories...

"Beverly Hills New Mexican Capitol"

"Vicente Fox Commandeers Sarandon-Robbins Home"

8/30/2005 10:32:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

“Evidence Found, Vince Foster Murdered” Claims Attorney General Chelsea Limbaugh

8/30/2005 10:46:00 AM  
Blogger Rockel said...

So, can I just say, for the record, as a liberal... Not outraged at all by most of these headlines.

The lack of creativity, the inability for any of you to firmly grasp the concept of satire, and the flat out lack of intelligence, if anything, makes me feel sorry for you all, not outraged.

An example:
"Bush Vindicated: Saddam Hussein reveals hidden cache of WMD's."

Satire is marked by the presence of sarcasm or irony. How is the above headline sarcastic? Is the author speaking with tongue in cheek, secretly knowing that Bush will never be vindicated? If he were, this would be satire... but not offensive to the "left." Would it be "ironic" if Bush were vindicated? Irony is that very thing that you least expect. If Bush being “vindicated” for this war is the last thing that people expect, that isn’t all that hurtful to the left.

This headline... and many of the other entries... are nothing more than the shallow hopes of Conservatives, not witty satirical jabs at Liberals.

Headlines like the one above, and "War in Iraq Cures Cancer," should outrage Conservatives, not Liberals, as they satirize an event/a person that Conservatives support.

8/30/2005 11:29:00 AM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

"Voice from the sky: I AM."

8/30/2005 06:39:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

Hey, since my headline outraged a liberal so much that he left a comment on your blog, I think that means I automatically win right? I know he said he wasn't outraged, but crazy people don't think they are crazy either. (not that you are crazy matt). The task isn't to make an ironic or satirical headline, otherwise we would all try to get jobs at the onion and probably fail. the task was to "outrage a liberal". You are a liberal; I outraged you. I'm honored to have found your button.

8/30/2005 07:14:00 PM  
Blogger Rockel said...

well, i can see the problem.... confusion.
"Leave a comment to this post with a satirical headline you think is clever, brief, and patently offensive to Left wing sensibilities."

Perhaps you missed that, Charlie. Also, you may have missed this:
"...makes me feel sorry for you all, not outraged."

However if you'd like to read outrage into my liberal feedback stating that I as a liberal am not outraged (as a crazy person might), that's your prerogative. Not that you're crazy, Charlie.

8/30/2005 07:55:00 PM  
Blogger Chuck Wade said...

Wow, Matt, way to let the air out of the baloon, Alright, party's over everyone, Matt's here.

8/30/2005 08:43:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

Ahh, Matt's just a typical conflicted liberalista. For example,

"The lack of creativity, the inability for any of you to firmly grasp the concept of satire, and the flat out lack of intelligence, if anything, makes me feel sorry for you all, not outraged."

OK, satire is usually humorous* commentary ridiculing its subject. Now, this ridicule can, as Matt states elsewhere in his comment, take the form of primarily sarcastic or ironic comments often juxtaposing the image (or projected self-image) of the subject with situations or behaviors that mock the cultivated image of the subject.

But these are not always witty and deft. And indeed, the satires that quite frequently elicit the most outrage are heavy-handed cudgels.

But simple ad-hominem attacks don't _necessarily_ make good satire (although there'll _almost_ always be an element of that sort of argument in satirical commentary), and Matt is correct that some of the proposed headlines are not satire directed toward liberalistas' sensitivities.

Still, I noted a number of hedlines that fit the criteria our host set forth.

And so did Matt, apparently, in spite of his earlier statement:

"This headline... and many of the other entries... are nothing more than the shallow hopes of Conservatives, not witty satirical jabs at Liberals."

"...many of..." indiocates "not all" IOW, Matt here admits that some of the proposed headlines do indeed meet even his criteria.

Unless, of course, Matt didn't know what he was saying when he wrote those words.

Now, that would be ironic.

*BTW, humor isn't always funny. See Swift: A Modest Proposal. If you find it funny, then cannibalism is a real hoot in your house... sicko.

:-)

8/30/2005 09:03:00 PM  
Blogger Rockel said...

Well, you know what they say… every party needs a pooper. Especially a party where the point is to sh*t on other people.

In my attempt to scour the internet for a definition of “liberalista,” the best I could come up with was:

“the high-profile liberals who… have hijacked the leadership of the liberal movement and the Democratic Party”

As anyone who knows me will concur, I am nowhere near high-profile, and as I am not a Democrat, I assure you, David, this is not a definition that fits well with me. And if anyone is confused, it most certainly is not I.

It is true that satire can manifest itself in the form of strong derision. However, as the conditions for this “competition” called for headlines which one considered “clever,” I assumed that brainless “cudgeling” was not directly on par for the course.

“’...many of...’ indiocates ‘not all’ IOW, Matt here admits that some of the proposed headlines do indeed meet even his criteria.”
That’s true… I can think of one offhand… mine.

“Unless… Matt didn't know what he was saying… that would be ironic.”
No. It would be coincidental. Do not bring this nit-picky Bullsh*t, and then drop the ball, David. Don’t be that guy.

8/30/2005 10:00:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

Roe Vs. Wade Overturned.

Man, How could we have missed that one?

8/30/2005 10:37:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

President O'Reilly to give daily state of the Union adresses durring Prime Time.

8/30/2005 10:42:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

Ralph Nader takes 15% of national vote.

8/30/2005 10:47:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

Bush disolves Congress. Reveals Clone Army.

8/30/2005 10:50:00 PM  
Blogger Darrell said...

Matt: " The lack of creativity, the inability for any of you to firmly grasp the concept of satire, and the flat out lack of intelligence, if anything, makes me feel sorry for you all"

I believe you, Matt. I don't think any of these so-called "headlines" actually outraged you.

I bet this one and this one did, though.

Matt, you're a 23 year old kid. Go ahead and get outraged. I don't begrudge you a bit. Being outraged, being soooo much smarter than those around you, and having everything figured out is a blast when you're 23. I remember it well. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Being a liberal at your age is perfectly fine. In fact, if you're not a liberal at the age of 20, you don't have a heart. But, if you're still a liberal at the age of 30, you probably don't have a brain.

8/31/2005 01:11:00 AM  
Blogger Rockel said...

Well, since we can't outrage liberals, let's attempt to piss off the one liberal who's here.

Darrell,
Any time Bush speaks (whether it's declaring a "historic" victory, or speaking to professionals and experts as though they were school children), it does not outrage me... it makes me embarrassed to be an American.

"if you're not a liberal at the age of 20, you don't have a heart, etc..."
Yeah, great quote. Very quaint. I've only heard it about a million times in my 23-years of being a Kid. Here's an idea, come up with your own. Here's another, lay off the stereotypes.

I'm glad you're sooo much wiser than a kid like myself since you've been consuming oxygen for longer than I have, but when you toss around bullsh*t, Readers' Digest quotes that rely merely on the passage of time to arrive at a stereotype, you exhibit ignorance, not wisdom.

8/31/2005 02:56:00 AM  
Blogger Rockel said...

Darrell,
Oh, and the headline about Republicans gaining more seats in the House of Rep.s would hardly outrage me as I voted Republican almost straight down the ticket.

I'm a liberal. That doesn't make me a Democrat. Or at least I don't think it does... but then, I'm only 23.

8/31/2005 03:00:00 AM  
Blogger David said...

Matt:“Unless… Matt didn't know what he was saying… that would be ironic.”
No. It would be coincidental.
+++++++++++++++++++

Unintentional irony, or as you put it, "coincidental"—heh, nice disavowal of your own words, Matt—is often the best kind.

"In my attempt to scour the internet for a definition of “liberalista...”"

Use more elbow grease.

:-)

But, back on topic, a fitting (and believable!) headline:

"Lynching the Jews: David Duke and Cindy Sheehan Tie the Knot"

("Courageously she has gone to Texas near the ranch of President Bush and braved the elements and a hostile Jewish supremacist media."—David Duke Duke/Sheehan: not-so-strange bedfellows... )

8/31/2005 07:52:00 AM  
Anonymous MT said...

President-Elect Cheyney Mulls Coulter Nomination After News of Ginsburg Plane Crash

8/31/2005 08:49:00 AM  
Anonymous ray B. said...

Darrell -- I'm 42, still have a brain and I'm a liberal.

my headline for today:

648 Dead, 322 Hurt in Iraq Bridge Stampede -- Bush admits "We're not really helping them are we?"

8/31/2005 11:09:00 AM  
Blogger Bohemian Like You said...

Ray and Mathew - I admire your courage for taking on this right wing cabal.

To Ray - I'll reply with two items from my post last night regarding the Dems War Plans:

+Remain keenly aware that Americans do not care about suffering they do not see (i.e. pre-invasion Iraq).

+Americans care a great deal about suffering they do see on TV (i.e. post-invasion Iraq) and will hold US forces as responsible for violence they perceive as new.

8/31/2005 11:21:00 AM  
Blogger Darrell said...

Matt: I'm glad you're sooo much wiser than a kid like myself since you've been consuming oxygen for longer than I have

Consuming oxygen for a longer period of time has nothing to do with it... Being around long enough to have figured out how to pick my fights is more of a factor. I'd suggest that making return trips to a blog where you disagree ideologically with just about everyone writing and posting comments, just so you can continue a pointless pissing contest, doesn't indicate a tremendous amount of wisdom. Most reasonable people would probably agree, though, that it is typical pissed-off-liberal-white-boy behavior.

Matt: Yeah, great quote. Very quaint. I've only heard it about a million times in my 23-years of being a Kid. Here's an idea, come up with your own. Here's another, lay off the stereotypes.

Ya know, the really annoying thing about both cliches and stereotypes is that there's usually a grain of truth in them. That's especially annoying to those who see themselves in the cliche or stereotype in question.

Oh, and the headline about Republicans gaining more seats in the House of Rep.s would hardly outrage me as I voted Republican almost straight down the ticket.

Oh. I gotcha. You're not liberal. You're just conflicted.

Or maybe you've mastered the ultimate "angry young man" scheme... you've figured out a way to be pissed off at everybody. Kudos. Marlon Brando would be proud.

Of course, I could be wrong. If I am, I'll admit it. The only way I can imagine that anything you said there makes any sense is if your position is that you're an old-fashioned FDR liberal, as opposed to a modern-day America-hating Michael Moore style liberal... and if your gripe is with so-called "neo-cons" rather than with real conservatives. It might be possible to build a cohesive argument on that premise.

If that's the case, then believe me when I say I'm happy to hear it. We need more FDR-styled liberals contributing to the national debate and fewer of the "Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean" kind.

Ray: Darrell -- I'm 42, still have a brain and I'm a liberal.

Oh, good. Try using that brain and you'll find yourself liberal-no-more. Unless you just enjoy being mislead, angry, and unwilling to do anything about it.

Let me qualify my anti-liberal remarks, both those here and the ones I've written elsewhere: When I bash liberals, I'm almost always talking about the modern-day, post-60's variety. I disagree with "old school" liberals on most issues, but I have a friendly respect for "old school" liberals, even though the only one still"consuming oxygen" that I can think of is Joe Lieberman.

8/31/2005 11:36:00 AM  
Blogger TheChurchMilitant said...

Here's another:

Sodomy: The new black.

8/31/2005 11:38:00 AM  
Blogger clint said...

"Nobel Peace Price shared by 1st Infantry and new Iraqi Security Force, for 'Role in Democracy-Promotion'"

"Bullied by Bolton: U.N. Human Rights Commission now judges 'Situation in Darfur' to be 'Nearly as Serious' as Koran-Flushing at Gitmo."

"ACLU Scholar reads Bill of Rights. Shocked to discover 2nd Amendment and explicit provisions for death penalty."

8/31/2005 11:42:00 AM  
Blogger YJLAW said...

"Endangered Species Taste Better"

"Studies show Success linked to Merit"

"Constitution to be Cited as basis for Constitutional Law"

"Democratic Election Losses Blamed on Patchouli."

"JFK Found Alive, Registered Republican"

"Hurricanes, Tsunamis, Ted Kennedy Identified as Most Deadly Forces on Water."

"Michael Moore Gains Weight In Fat Camp, Claims Conspiracy, Three Counselors Missing."

John Kerry and Bob Dole In Business Duo. Viagra Ketchup On Shelves Soon.

Joan Baez to Marry Pope.

8/31/2005 03:37:00 PM  
Blogger Chuck Wade said...

"People stop leaving comments on blogs that have nothing to do with the original title"

Maybe it's too long for a Newspaper quote, but I think it fits.

8/31/2005 04:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sheehan and Michael Moore Blame Retardation of Love Child on Neo-Con Agenda

"Peace Mom" forgets Thorazine Meds, Punches Joan Baez at Anti-War Rally

Ghost of Casey Sheehan Asks to Meet With, Kick His Mother's Ass

8/31/2005 04:24:00 PM  
Blogger Rockel said...

just so you can continue a pointless pissing contest

I’m sorry… I’d be more than happy to leave and let you get back to your very fruitful, non-urinary bashing of beliefs that differ from your own.

there's usually a grain of truth in them

Then I’ll be sure to take a grain from them, and ignore the enormous pile of manure surrounding the grain.

You're just conflicted.

Yes. You see right through me. I can’t fully come to grips with the intelligence within myself

if your position is that you're an old-fashioned FDR liberal, as opposed to a modern-day America-hating Michael Moore style liberal

I’ll just take a grain from that and ignore the fact that you’re lumping every single liberal in America into the same category as a lower-middle class, fat, filmmaker from Michigan.

if your gripe is with so-called "neo-cons"

I believe my “gripe,” was giving feedback on this contest.

Ray: congratulations on maintaining your brain through your 40th birthday. It must have been very difficult. You, along with the many other 40+ liberal-minded people I know, are to be congratulated. Perhaps you should try using your brain less and see if you become more appreciative of clichés, stereotypes, and not being mislead.

8/31/2005 06:01:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

Hillary hires Pat Robertson as new Democratic Strategist.

8/31/2005 06:56:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

JFK Cloned, Re-Assassinated

8/31/2005 06:59:00 PM  
Blogger Rockel said...

"JFK Cloned, Re-Assassinated"

If it outrages anyone with a conscience does it get extra points?

8/31/2005 07:33:00 PM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

Hey, it outraged me too!

8/31/2005 08:18:00 PM  
Blogger Rockel said...

David,
Although "scour" can mean to scrape or to clean, there is no definition of "coincidental" that means "unintentional irony."

heh, nice job showing yourself as nescient, David.

9/01/2005 02:30:00 AM  
Blogger TheChurchMilitant said...

I think this loses something out of its proper context:

"Is that Robert Byrd in your pocket, or are you just tired?"

Here's the context:

http://thechurchmilitant.blogspot.com/2005/09/is-that-robert-byrd-in-your-pocket-or.html

9/01/2005 12:46:00 PM  
Blogger Darrell said...

Matt:I’d be more than happy to leave and let you get back to your very fruitful, non-urinary bashing of beliefs that differ from your own.

Somehow, I doubt that. You haven't let well enough alone so far. Why start now?

I believe my “gripe,” was giving feedback on this contest

And, if I am reading you correctly, you believe that this contest amounts to a bunch of idiots having fun by making fun of beliefs that we don't share. Alright. Just for the sake of the academic argument, let's say that you're right. You made your point with your first comment. What do you hope to accomplish by continuing? Judging from the tone and content, it looks like your goal is simply to aggravate people who disagree with you philosophically... to rain on their parade.

I think I judged you too quickly. Maybe you are one of the modern liberals, with nothing real to contribute beyond your own shrill ranting. So far, everything you've said has amounted to little more than "I know what you are, but what am I?"

Your comments have been snide and vaguely self-congratulatory. My responses to your comments have largely been similar. I did try, however, to engage you in a little more serious debate with the last part of my most recent comment. It really did interest me that you voted a strict Republican ticket but consider yourself a liberal. As polarized at politics tend to be these days, I'm sure I'm not the only person who'd find that surprising. I suppose, though, that given the context of your contributions here, it was fruitless of me to try to pursue my interest in that with my last comment.

Regardless, Matt, I've just read at least half of the items at your own blog, and while I disagree with you about a great deal of it, there are things there that I agree with. It seems from several of your posts that you do have a problem, though, with attacking the syntax of arguments you disagree with when you can't really counter the content itself. (As in, topic three of this post, the "suicide bomber" gaffe in this post, and most of this post). To my way of thinking, that's really all you've done here as well.

I'm going to post a link to the story you mentioned about stem cells in umbilical cords, and I plan to hat tip your blog for the story. If you have a problem with that, e-mail me and I'll remove the credit.

I'll let you have the last word with regard to this particular pissing contest. I think I know what to expect from you, so have at it.

9/01/2005 04:27:00 PM  
Blogger Rockel said...

The last word:
Thanks for reading (and posting links to) my site. I'm sorry that you, even as a conservative (a being that still possesses a sense of humor), can enjoy satirical criticism of liberals, but rule out the satirizing of Conservatives blunders as poor arguments against the syntax of an otherwise sound argument.

9/01/2005 05:17:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

"New car runs on eco-freak 'gas'"

(story continues with... "With oil at $115 per barrel and refinery production flagging, EFR (Eco-Freak Resources Ltd.) has devised a way to power cars via the flatus emitted by eco-freaks whenever they open their mouths to speak. Since sco-freaks rarely shut up, this renewable resource seems a heaven-sent resource for present and future energy needs. Research is underway to eliminate the odorous pollutants but... ")

9/01/2005 09:31:00 PM  
Blogger Kirkpatrick said...

A timely and definitely satirical headline:

"Hurricane Victims Thank President Bush for Quick Response"

9/01/2005 10:49:00 PM  
Blogger I. Ronnie said...

"Scientists Discover 'Patriotism Gene' Missing in Democrats"

9/02/2005 08:50:00 AM  
Anonymous ray b. said...

Bush Solves Hurricane Refugee Problem - Sends Them All to Iraq to Fight

9/02/2005 01:52:00 PM  
Blogger I. Ronnie said...

"Ray B. Discovers God Created him to Serve as Litmus Test for WHYGRR Contest"

9/02/2005 03:54:00 PM  
Blogger Kerry said...

From the National Enquirer, or perhaps its British equivalent, The Sun, (I think it's the Sun).

Chelsea Tells All, Moves to Texas, Becomes a Republican: "Dad's a Sex Addict, Mom's a Rasputin!"

Or, from almost any of the Dinosaur Media: "PELOSI TAKES CALIFORNIA!!!, (shsss...condi wins white house)

From the Sierra Club-Greenpeace Science Flash: "Al Gore Invents Time Machine! Talks with Sherlock Holmes!"

From The Hollywood Catholic True Stories about the Stars: "Susan Sarandon & Tim Robbins Receive the Stigmata"

From The New York Times: "George Bush, The Lincoln of our Day"

From any paper in Vermont "Patrick Leahy, Serial Dissembler & Liar Exposed."

From the Las Vegas Fools Gold Exposer: "Harry Reid, Our Beloved Bugsy-a personal memoir."

From the Boston Globe: "John Kerry to write Marriage Advice Column"

From the blown up ruins of Reuters News: "Well, yes, They are Terrorists!"

9/03/2005 10:25:00 AM  
Blogger Just Charlie said...

NOM pushes for the opening of rape rooms in the U.S. -- "Keep rape safe and legal."

9/04/2005 03:24:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

1. John Ashcroft nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court.

2. Rush Limbaugh nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court.

3. Donald Rumsfeld nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court.

4. George W. Bush nominates himself to the U.S. Supreme Court.

5. Newt Gingrich nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court.

6. Anyone that is not pro-abortion, pro-welfare-state nominated to the U.S. Supreme Court.

9/05/2005 05:58:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

President Bush orders Jesse Jackson deported "back to Africa"...

9/05/2005 06:01:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

President Bush Nominates Pat Robertson to the U.S. Supreme Court, Says His First Task is to Cast Judgment on Venezuela's Chavez

9/05/2005 06:05:00 PM  
Anonymous raymondo said...

President Bush Gives Medal of Freedom to Head of FEMA.

Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction found in a New Orleans parish!

9/06/2005 09:45:00 AM  
Blogger Mr. Right said...

Study Determines Hurricanes Are Forces of Nature, Bush Not to Blame for Katrina

9/06/2005 11:36:00 PM  
Anonymous flora mcdonald said...

Fidel Diverts Rice Cookers to Aide Sheehan Bus Tour - Cubans Are Steamed!

9/06/2005 11:45:00 PM  
Blogger Michelle =) said...

Sheehan, Rather, and Michael Moore in love triangle covered by each conspirator's amazing ability to lie!!

9/07/2005 09:52:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Two Birds Killed with One Stone - Immigration Problem Solved by Deporting Liberals.

9/09/2005 12:08:00 AM  
Anonymous I. Ronnie's Mom said...

From this week's The Onion:

God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again

Officials Uncertain Whether To Save Or Shoot Victims

Nation's Politicians Applaud Great Job They're Doing

Area Man Drives Food There His Goddamned Self

Bush: 'It Has Been Brought To My Attention That There Was Recently A Bad Storm'

White Foragers Report Threat Of Black Looters

Government Relief Workers Mosey In To Help

Louisiana National Guard Offers Help By Phone From Iraq

9/09/2005 01:34:00 PM  
Blogger I. Ronnie said...

COOL!!

I evoked a response from someone posing as my mother! Do I get extra points? =->

9/09/2005 04:21:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

CBS Hires Baghdad Bob to Replace Dan Rather - Claims Viewers Shouldn't Notice Any Difference.

9/12/2005 01:12:00 AM  
Blogger I. Ronnie said...

"Homeland Security: Proof of Citizenship Required to Vote"

9/13/2005 10:08:00 PM  
Anonymous mmmmmmmmmmm war! said...

Scores Die in Multiple Iraq Explosions
AP - Baghdad, September 14, 2005
More than 150 people have been killed in a series of car bombings in Baghdad, and fighters said the carnage was aimed at avenging an offensive against them in northern Iraq. Barbara Bush said "They're better off dead."

9/14/2005 02:48:00 PM  
Anonymous John said...

Democrats beg Soros to remove feeding tube from DNC...Ask for slow euphoric death.

Republicans shift view on abortion: "It's okay for Liberals."

9/14/2005 05:06:00 PM  
Anonymous rb said...

From the Onion:

Bush Nominates First-Trimester Fetus To Supreme Court

Halliburton Gets Contract To Pry Gold Fillings From New Orleans Corpses' Teeth

9/15/2005 12:58:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Bush Signs New Law Requiring Louisiana Refugees to Serve One Year in Iraq Before Returning Home.

9/15/2005 10:50:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

NAACP Endorses Jeb for President 2008

9/15/2005 11:00:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Bush Nominates Ken Starr to Supreme Court

9/15/2005 11:02:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Osama Bin Laden Located at Mansion in New York - Thanks Clintons for Hospitality

9/15/2005 11:12:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Bush Says Baby Seals Plug Levee Breaks Better than Sandbags

9/15/2005 11:16:00 PM  
Blogger TR said...

Bush Nominates His Mother, Barbara, to Supreme Court - Says Poor Blacks Are Better Off This Way

9/16/2005 08:30:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home