Monday, October 24, 2005

Indictments Expected: Rove Possibly Misled Prosecutors by Possibly Speaking on the Possible Confidentiality of a Possibly Undercover Agent

Did Karl Rove jeopardize possible undercover status of the wife of Joe Wilson, the former Ambassador who possibly may have been authorized to travel to Niger to discuss the possibility that Saddam was possibly not a threat?

It would appear that if you're a Republican without an indictment, you're not working hard enough.



Anonymous phil said...

Glad to see that your site posts only 100% humor pieces. Keep up the good work. Let me know if you would like me to do some humor writing for you.

Here, let me know what you think of this one, it's a poem I call "Ode to the Southern Renaissance Man"

Of the size of his flag he'll regale ya
And his knowledge of sheep genitalia
He's a loyal Bush fan
See, he's plastered his van
Front to back with Bush paraphernalia

Speaks in grunts and words single-syllabic
Rebel flag is his state’s social fabric
That he wears on his back
Racist chic (the new black)
Thinks that Condi is hot (for a black chick)

His lust for Rush Limbaugh is chronic
Though he claims that its only platonic
A confirmed shitto-head
Rush’s pic by his bed
The mere thought of Rush gets him hardon-ic

Drives two rusted old gray Chevy half-tons
Favorite things are cold beers and warm guns
Pile of trash in his yard
He don’t work none too hard
Loves all stem cells (except for the gay ones)

Left school early but might can still cipher
Rebel Yell he considers a cry ‘fer
Some saving of face
By the South’s “master race”
At the Johnny Reb club he’s a lifer

Saw Dukes of Hazzard and went apoplectic
He’s a hillbilly film genre skeptic
Burt’s Boss Hogg he found lazy
And Jess Simpson as Daisy
He found forced, trite, and quite antiseptic

Mention Clinton, his lip starts to quiver
“Hillary” down his spine sends a shiver
Head in ass, he don’t know
‘bout the fiscal death blow
GOP to him’s set to deliver

Haute cuisine 2 big Macs (extra cheese)
Mention Reagan he drops to his knees
Though he’s flat busted broke
Still he loves the rich folk
Though it screws him he’ll do as they please

High culture to him? Wax museum
The next NASCAR event? Bet you’ll see him
Sunburned, drunk, weighs a ton
There’s a million, which one?
He’s the one with the 12 beer per diem

Loves the war long as it ain’t him fightin’
The sad truth is it’s hard to enlighten
One who lacks brains or balls
Hides when his country calls
Loves war talk, but real war tends to frighten

Though morally blind he can see
Fiscal damage done by GOP
Supports them all the more
Hates those gays, loves that war
Sign on scrotum and head: Vacancy

A twice-born evangelical dimwit
Found Christ once, but misplaced him, dagnabbit
Born of shit and whole cloth
Greatest virtue is sloth
Moral and intellectual midget

He is fat-assed, foul-smelling and toothless
Loves his dog, to his kids he is ruthless
Works full time at the dump
Proudly dumb as a stump
Claims his sex scandal rumors are truthless

Says the South will be risin' agin'
Should we fear Southern Man and his kin?
Shoot, they's plumb out of luck
Couldn't start Granny's truck
They'll regroup with some home-distilled gin

They’ll debate whether South Carolina
Is the country’s asshole or vagina
It’s the foremost debate
In the reddest Red State
While Bush exports all their jobs to China

10/24/2005 12:23:00 PM  
Anonymous ray b said...

David Letterman: “The feeling was that this report made the administration's decision to go to war look bad-”

Al Franken: “Right. So they wanted to smear the guy who came back with the report, and so they out his wife and said she sent him there. This is essentially, you know, George H.W. Bush, the President's father, was the head of the CIA and he has said that outing a CIA agent is treason.”

Letterman: “It is treason, yes.”

Franken: “And so basically, what it looks like is going to happen is that Libby and Karl Rove are going to be executed."

[audience laughter over Letterman’s response]

Letterman, in mock indignation: “What? What! Really?”

Franken cautioned: “Yeah. And I don't know how I feel about it because I'm basically against the death penalty, but they are going to be executed it looks like.”

A bit later:

Letterman quipped: “The real crime is that there's an adult man walking around in the current administration named Scooter. I mean, we can agree on that, right?” [Audience laughter]

Franken combined the liberal spin on the case with some humor: “That, but sooner or later he'll be executed, so that, and you worry about because the President at some, he said right away when Novak outed the CIA agent, Plame, said 'I want to get to the bottom of this.’ Well now Karl Rove is his right-hand man. Did he ask Karl? Did Karl lie to him? If so, we know he should have fired Karl by now so that, and did Karl tell the truth to him? In that case the President -- and I think, by the way, that we should never ever, ever, ever execute a sitting President.” [Audience laughter]

Letterman: “It makes us look bad around the world, I think.”

Franken, in jest: “It would. It would be heartbreaking, I think, and I think that we should have a constitutional amendment.”

Letterman: “I see, yeah. Have we ever come close in the history to executing a seated President?”

Franken: “No, this will be the closest.”

Letterman: “This will be the closest, yeah.”

Franken: “Unless we get that amendment passed now.”

10/24/2005 12:33:00 PM  
Anonymous Al Franken said...

George W. Bush wants to amend our Constitution to make it illegal for gays to marry. But evidently, he has no problem with terrorists getting married. America can't afford a president who is soft on terrorist marriage. Because unlike gays, terrorists can breed.

The FristCam Act of 2005 would place a video camera in every one of America's Intensive Care Units. The FristCams would pan the ICUs, and the Senate Majority Leader would give each patient a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down.

Bin Laden must have been furious. Here he had gone to all this trouble to murder thousands of Americans, and Saddam—Saddam, the infidel!—was getting all the credit! Who was the head of al Qaeda?! Who was funding al Qaeda?! Somewhere along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border there was a very angry terrorist mastermind.

From what I understand, if you cut out all the passages in the Bible where Jesus talks about the poor, about helping out the least among us, you'd have the perfect container to smuggle Rush Limbaugh's drugs in.

10/24/2005 06:21:00 PM  

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