Tuesday, January 31, 2006

'Walk the Line' Re-write Features Bi-Curious Johnny Cash; Earns 9 Oscar Nominations

Once snubbed biopic now a "Tour-de-Force," claims New York Times.

Cross the Line, now a musical, is expected to make back much of the money lost on the 2005 hetero-centric flop, Walk the Line. Critics railed against the tedious and close-minded nature of Johnny Cash's relationship with June Carter present throughout much of the film.

"All we had to do was hire the cast of Brokeback Mountain and give Joaquin Phoenix a rainbow guitar strap and heck, we were halfway there," says a relieved producer.

The strap:

Director James Mangold apologized for making the Cash biography so exclusive originally. "This rewrite has helped me to recognize the precarious nature of my heterosexuality. I mean, we're all just one night in a pup tent with a friend away from going gay. It's magical."

"Mangold has taken a tired, anemic 'love story' and performed alchemy with this fresh, groundbreaking triumph," proclaimed Times film critic Clarke Needleman today before a pre-screening of the re-written movie.

"I'm sure I'll love it," he added.


Blogger David said...

Linking to this post... NOW.

1/31/2006 10:19:00 PM  
Blogger f mcdonald said...

Ah! No wonder he liked the prison gigs so much.

(I can't believe I wrote that. Forgive me Johnny.)

1/31/2006 10:26:00 PM  
Anonymous ray b said...

So, Luther really DID play the boogie woogie!

2/01/2006 11:06:00 AM  
Blogger Bohemian Like You said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2/01/2006 03:08:00 PM  
Blogger Bohemian Like You said...

But did Luther play the boogie straaange?

2/01/2006 04:09:00 PM  
Blogger WomanHonorThyself said...

rainbow belt...lolz have we really come to this?..anybody survey cowboyz n ask them their slant on the flick?..bet they'd preciate City Slickers a heck of a lot more..heh.

2/01/2006 04:32:00 PM  
Blogger Darrell said...

Good stuff. Really, REALLY good stuff. I'm a huge Johnny Cash fan, so I'll have to resist the urge to suggest that this gives "Ring Of Fire" a whole new meaning.

2/01/2006 05:50:00 PM  
Blogger MT said...

Just the words "bi-curious" and "Johnny Cash" together brings a smile to your face.

2/01/2006 09:15:00 PM  
Anonymous jcr said...

Photoshopping gold!

Perhaps you could do similar magic by teaming Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger in a rewrite of other hetero-centric films. New titles certain to "arouse" the Academy and the critics could include: "The Spy Who Loved Me Too Much", "Titanic 2: The Untold Tragegy", "Arabian Knights", "Scaling Private Ryan", "When Harry Met Billy", "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Passion", "Dirty Harry's Secret", "Cry Hard", and "Brokeheart".

2/02/2006 11:44:00 AM  

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