Holy Shiite!

ABC News: Holy Shiite Tomb Attacked

Desperate Nagin Pleads for more Mardi Gras Beads, Jell-o Shooters & King Cakes

New Orleans Mayor: "Apparently, President Bush doesn't care about drunken topless babes either."



Above: Victims of a callous Bush administration attempt
to put their lives back together.

Correction: Initial reports last September described New Orleans as "destroyed." These reports should have read "not destroyed." WHYGRR regrets the error.

Democrats Hungry for Answers in Cheney Hunting Probe

In other news, Africa is Just Hungry.

"A flute with no holes is not a flute..."

"A donut with no holes is a Danish..."
--Chevy Chase as Ty Webb in Caddyshack.


Iran strikes back at Danish cartoonists by renaming pastries.

Nation Braces for Onslaught of Cheney Hunting Accident Metaphors

Rationing of metaphors, allegories, figures of speech, similies, and analogies may begin as early as 8:00 PM tonight.



Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff appealed for calm today, but cautioned that current stockpiles of metaphorical rhetoric may be insufficient to meet the expected demand caused by the Vice President's hunting mishap.



"You've got to appreciate the fragile nature of this situation," Chertoff explained. "No one could have predicted this combination of ironies. First, there's the whole 'weapons' of mass destruction thing. Then, you've got the 'pro-gun, NRA angle.' Of course, you've got the notion of a "dramatic, premature misfiring' with a 'loaded weapon' to worry about.

Most serious, however, is the explosive potential of the Vice President's first name: Dick. It is a powderkeg - literally."

Zany morning show DJs, late night talk show hosts, and stand-up comedians including Dennis Miller, Lewis Black, and John Stewart have been given priority access to the reserves due to the time sensitive nature of their work.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Big hat tip to Darrell of the Southern Conservative for alerting me to the Cox and Forkum cartoon.

Stutterers Torch Looney Toons HQ over Porky Pig Cartoon Mocking Speech Impediment

President Bush sends additional apology to stuttering Muslims everywhere who "may take added offense at the notion of an unclean, talking pig."

=
=A protestor shouts "Bush Li, Li, Li, Li, Li, Lies!!"

"The devil is the prowde spirite. He cannot endure to be mocked."

Sir Thomas More (1478-1535)

Nope. No Military Draft Yet.

Just checking. If you see one, please let me know.

Hollywood Wins Most Self-Congratulatory Industry Award

"We couldn't have done it without all the idiots who love us so much!"



A visibly disappointed music industry walked out, trashed its hotel room, overdosed, and then fell asleep in its own vomit.

=============================================

"The state of today's culture is so low that I do not care to spend my time watching and discussing it."
Ayn Rand

I Hate the Olympics

Didn't they do this just a couple years ago?



The athletic equivalent of the U.N. is back again. Feel the love. Feel the marketing.

The surreal, limpwristed "Cirque du Soleil" cluster that was the opening ceremony ushered in the brave new brotherhood of man finally realized through multi-national sports competition.

V the K sums it up a bit differently, however:



The bubbleheads above were "supposed to be a tribute to '99 Red Balloons,' but the color was changed for fear of offending Islam somehow."

Dean on Muslim violence: "We must realize that they feel like their savior was mocked, beaten, and nailed to a cross."

"As a predominantly Christian nation, we simply can't relate to something like this."

"As newsworthy as Elton John coming out of the closet."

Arlen Specter's concern over tracking domestic terrorists is news?



Ann Coulter's quote above sums up the contrived love affair the media has with sellout Republicans who crave the endless supply of press attention available to those who consistently criticize President Bush or their own party.

Arlen Specter's constituency is the New York Times and Washington Post - not Pennsylvania. The vast majority of Republicans, Americans, and some Dems support the legal surveillance, but they're not interviewed even a fraction of the time. When they are, watch out for warning labels.

If you're not able to see this "good dog / bad dog" routine by now, you're not paying attention.

Still need a little help?

Just look out for the "Conservative" or "Right-wing" prefix before principled politicians ("Bad Dog!") versus the "Maverick" or "Moderate" ("Good Dog!") label before Republican media whores like John McCain, Lindsey Graham, Mike DeWine, Olympia Snowe, Chris Shays, Chuck Hagel, George Voinovich, Susan Collins, etc...

Why, you know all of their names don't you?

Thought for today: Could Islam survive without the police state?

Discuss.

Baptist Suicide Bombers Kill 21 Outside Rolling Stone Magazine Headquarters

Death Toll now 126 as Christians Retaliate for Cover Depicting Kanye West As Jesus

========================================
BREAKING NEWS

Billy Graham Ministries has released a crudely produced statement on video demanding that the 10 Commandments become law by midnight Friday.

If the Federal government fails to respond, BGM insurgents will begin assassinating Rolling Stone staffers from the rooftops of adjacent buildings.

========================================
Below: West as Christ.



WASHINGTON
ASSOCIATED PRESS: President Bush appealed for calm today as Christians continued their campaign of violence across North America. The White House issued a stinging rebuke to Rolling Stone Magazine's editor Jann Wenner.

"With freedom of speech comes responsibility. We urge Mr. Wenner to act responsibly in this case and issue an apology to those Christians who are deeply offended and hurt at the site of their savior being mocked in such a fashion."

Below: Christians minutes before rampage which killed 5.



Jason at Generation Why? has complete coverage.

US State Dept: "87 Million Violent Extremists Giving 'Religion of Peace' a Bad Name"

Unbelievable....yet, our President says nothing.